


An Ineffable Loophole

by No1fan15



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, M/M, Original demon and angel characters, Time for some shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-06-26 17:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19773127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No1fan15/pseuds/No1fan15
Summary: A few weeks after the End-of-not-much-to-be-honest something new begins to stir. Nothing world ending per say but one tends to take notice when a demon and an angel show up and ask you how you pulled off the whole holy water/ hellfire thing.





	1. Implications of a familiar nature

They were being followed.

It wasn’t obvious but being on high alert a few days after the Not-war-to-end-nothing-our-bad made it easy to notice. That uncomfortable spine tingling sensation that you were being watched. Just knowing that there were eyes following your every move. Looking at your surroundings and wondering where your observer was with a sick sense of hopelessness. It wasn’t a feeling either of them particularly enjoyed.

One of the first hints had come with a sunset colored feather found between the pages of a book. Aziraphale insisted he wasn’t using it as a bookmark and was quite worried as to how it may have gotten there. Crowley had tried to take his mind off of it by asking about the book in question. A lengthy lecture and a couple of wine glasses later they’d forgotten about the feather entirely.

The next few had been some odd tickles down Aziraphale's back that he knew signaled the presence of other angels. It was expected that heaven would be keeping an eye on them but so long as the presence never got too close he wouldn’t bother mentioning it. Crowley had been having similar encounters with a whiff of evil here and there. He was used to it by now, living alongside humans for 6000 years will do that to you, but this was stronger than the average ill intentioned passerby. The bodyswap stunt they'd pulled would ensure hell didn’t make any moves too fast however so he let it slide, much like breadcrumbs off the back of an indifferent duck.

Then there were the times they could both swear they'd heard the click of a camera from their surroundings. The London crowds made searching for the source nearly impossible and the one time Crowley had attempted to ruin the device, wherever it was, his snap had been met with nothing. No reaction from any of the people around them and no clues as to what was going on.

The overall result was, simply put, mild discomfort. Nothing quite worth investigating yet but they kept note of it anyways. It wasn’t until some weeks later that the reason revealed itself.

“I do believe that bird is staring at us.” Crowley spared a glance towards the bird in question. It was a garish bright orange, red, and yellow that looked quite out of place in London and had indeed had its head tilted in their direction for the past half hour or so. If the angel hadn’t spoken up about it soon Crowley had been planning to. Despite the caution they should have been using given the situation neither had wanted to make a fuss as they were both quite enjoying their lunch. However now that the food was gone and pleasantries exchanged a slight unease had settled itself over them like a cat over ones face at three in the morning.

“Well, it's not exactly hard to miss now is it?” Crowley said.

“Any ideas as to why?” Aziraphale said. Crowley shrugged, a gesture he had grown quite fond of after discovering human shoulders could portray questions or lack of care with such ease.

“Judging from the vibe it's giving off it's probably a demon.” he suggested casually. “Other than that, I’ve got nothing.”

“A demon?” Aziraphale shot him a worried look.“Do you thing they’re…”

“After us? I doubt it. If Hell was seriously going to attack us they would have done it already instead of doing all the stalking. They’re either messing with us for a laugh or this particular demon has a grudge and if that's the case we can handle them.” Crowley said. His words seemed to have the calming effect he wanted as Aziraphale appeared to relax. He glanced at the bird demon and gave an anxious wiggle as he tried to take his mind off of it.

( The angel had many different wiggles, Crowley had learned by now, and he seemingly did them without noticing. The pursued lips and slightly lowered brows signaled this particular wiggle as one of concern. Crowley himself had only done one wiggle he knew of and that had been the infamous low incline shimmy landing somewhere in the vicinity of the great pit. )

As if knowing they had been talking about it the bird spread its wings. It let out the first few notes of a song. The people in St. James park that day would describe it later as one of the most beautiful sounds they’d ever heard come from an animal. The two celestial beings sitting nearby would know better. The wonderful yet heartbreaking feeling of hearing what was once a melody from heaven being run through the vocal cords of a creature that was never meant to know it. It confirmed that without a doubt the bird was demonic in nature. As it flew away they watched it disappear into the clouds.

“Well, there's a demon you don’t see every day.” Crowley muttered.

“Do you know them?” Aziraphale asked quietly.

“Not personally. There’s no mistaking that song though. That’s the marquis Phoenix.”

“Why are they here? If you didn’t know them it can’t possibly be a grudge.” Aziraphale said.

“You'd be surprised how many people I’ve met for the first time who already loathed me.” Crowley said. “Aside from that it's a good question. Last I’d heard she’d been stationed in Canada.”

“That’s quite the trip to take then. I wonder what brought her all the way over here?” Aziraphale said.

“Why don’t you ask her next time?” Crowley said with a smirk. The sarcasm earned him a dutiful “I know you’re joking but really now" expression from Aziraphale.

Crowley managed to make it all the way back to his flat without giving anymore thought to the issue. They'd followed their picnic up with the usual couple of hours drinking at the bookstore. Crowley vaguely recalled a lovely drunk conversation regarding the merits of octopi versus squid. He didn’t remember who'd won. He'd sobered up before he left but he always enjoyed leaving just enough for a pleasant buzz.

That buzz had extinguished like a match in a storm the second he saw a small piece of paper resting on his desk with a familiar feather on top of it. He eyed the feather like it might light itself aflame the moment he touched it. Then he reasoned that such an effect would be counterproductive as all it would accomplish would be the burning of the note. With that possibility out of the question he strode over and picked it up.

_“We need to talk. Meet me tomorrow at 9pm on Denmark Street, on the roof of the Helter Skelter. Bring the angel.”_

Alright. That was a lot to unpack and if Crowley were being honest with himself he’d rather throw out the whole suitcase than start digging into it. Doing nothing wouldn’t stop the watching however and he didn’t want to think about possible further methods of contact so he opted to consider it. He mentally prepared a list of every strange aspect of this note.

1\. The presentation. Really, breaking into his home was expected from some demons but it certainly wasn’t the default for sending messages. The feather on top was to ensure he knew who sent it so Phoenix obviously wanted Crowley to recognize the note was from her.

2\. The request for a conversation. Granted it didn’t have a “please" in front of it but it was much more polite than most notes he'd received over the past 6000 years. Phoenix wanting to talk to him was odd but moreso was that she didn’t include any hints to the possible subject. Evidently she wanted to keep it hidden from him or it could be damaging to her if someone else found it written down.

3\. The meeting instructions. Meeting at night was the usual for demons and with the fall starting it should be dark by the time they met. The street address was close to the bookshop so she knew that Aziraphale lived there and it would be easy for Crowley to convince him to come along.

4\. The Helter Skelter. A music bookstore. Being on the roof made enough sense. It gave an easy escape route to those with wings. Considering that was all of them it didn’t give Phoenix an unfair advantage. The music part was clearly because she enjoyed it. The bookshop part… yet another reason for Aziraphale to want to go. She'd definitely spent quite some time planning this meetup.

5\. Bring the angel. Out of the entire message this was part that worried him the most. Why would Phoenix want Aziraphale to be there? A more powerful demon would likely use such an encounter to attack him. However Crowley had heard though the tangled mess of thorns that counted as the grapevine in hell that Phoenix had been demoted a few centuries prior and wasn’t all that threatening. Aziraphale being with Crowley would only make any attacks more difficult for her. Perhaps it was her way of proving this was to be just a talk? Whatever her reasoning Crowley didn’t trust it.

With all of that thoroughly processed Crowley sat down and began looking at his options. Ignoring the note wasn’t an option. As soon as Aziraphale was involved he knew this wasn’t something he could comfortably brush aside. He didn’t know if Phoenix would have backup and, as a general rule, didn't trust other demons. He could do as the message implied and lie to the angel to get him there. That was also out of the question. He had never lied to Aziraphale before and he wasn’t about to start now, especially after everything they’d recently gone through. The only possible path he could find within the question was calling the angel and telling him about the note. The decision made, he sighed and started dialing. This wasn’t exactly how he saw his life going but then again he was rarely correct on that front.

Aziraphale had just finished reading a rather nice book after sobering up when his phone rang.

“We are closed-"

“It's me, angel.”

“Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale smiled and felt himself relax. The kinds of customers who called this late were one of his least favorite types. Just hearing the demons voice put him in a good mood. “Forgot to mention your favorite squid fact, I presume?”

“No, I – Wait, I was on the squid side of that?” Crowley said.

“You were quite insistent.” Aziraphale said.

“Doesn’t sound right…. Anyways, that’s not why I called.” Crowley said. Aziraphale’s smile faded slightly. He could tell from his tone that Crowley was frustrated.

“What's the matter, dear? Are you alright?” Aziraphale asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, look…” Crowley said. “I got a note. From Phoenix.”

“Oh.” That happy feeling took a sizable hit. “Where – I mean, what-"

“It was on my desk along with one of her feathers. She's asking to meet up, on top of the Helter Skelter.” Crowley continued. “And she wants me to bring you.”

“Me? Really?” Aziraphale said. “Whatever for?”

“No idea. You’re absolutely stronger than her though so it can’t be to fight.” Crowley said.

“I see…” Aziraphale said. It really didn’t make any sense.

“So…. What’s the call?” Crowley said. Aziraphale could almost picture him there asking the question with more honesty in his expression than one would ever expect a demon to have. He had drawn a blank and needed advice. Aziraphale thought about it for a moment.

“Well. I think we should go.” he said. “Like you said, she can’t be planning on hurting either of us. It might be worth going to hear her out. If nothing else I’ve been wanting to pay a visit to the skelter for a while. They recently got in a new shipment of classical music sheets and I've heard some are quite old-"

“I get your point, angel. We'll do it.” Crowley said. “So. When do you want to meet up tomorrow?”

“Oh, whenever you wish to come by is fine with me. You’re quite efficient at scaring off the customers.” Aziraphale said. His grin was starting to return. Despite his nerves he couldn’t help but feel a little excited.

“As soon as demonically possible then?” Crowley suggested with a hint of mirth in his words.

“Please.”

The day leading up to the meeting was as casual and normal as days come for the two. A quiet morning in the bookshop with some tea followed by lunch out. No drinks afterward this time however. Instead they wandered the area around Denmark street with Aziraphale pausing for the occasional snack. Conversation was sparse and both seemed to exude a slight tension. The unknown nature surrounding their trip was never mentioned. They simply acted as if everything was fine and they did this sort of thing all the time. After a few minutes spent inside the Helter Skelter, disappointingly modern ones to Aziraphale's dismay, the clock was approaching nine and they slipped up to the roof. How they got there wouldn’t be understood by humans and thus doesn’t warrant an explanation. The point is they were there and waiting under the growing moonlight.

“Maybe she won’t show.” Aziraphale pondered. “Perhaps I’ve intimidated her away.”

“As much as I love that sentiment angel I doubt it.” Crowley said. He bristled as a familiar scent in the air caught his attention. “She's here.”

As soon as he'd said it the bird from the park swooped down towards their position seemingly right out of the night sky. As it approached the ground its shape shifted into that of a human. Violet heels clacked on the roof and a black dress fluttered in the wind. Dark brown skin highlighted the contrast of dozens of orange braids. The bat like sleeves and low cut chest of the dress took the form of black lace in feather patterns. Lipstick and eyeshadow matched the shoes in hue.

Phoenix smiled and opened deep black eyes with bright orange pupils.

“…. You're smaller than I thought you’d be.” Crowley remarked. Phoenix narrowed her eyes slightly but kept the smile. She was perhaps a foot shorter than him with a body type very similar to Aziraphale. This wasn’t to say small demons weren’t dangerous. Beelzebub was even shorter and you wouldn’t catch Crowley sassing them.

“Ones appearance matters not when the fire within them burns bright.” Phoenix said. She spotted Aziraphale and her smile grew. “You brought your angel, like my note said.”

“And for what purpose?” Aziraphale said. “I doubt you're going to fight us.”

“Fear not, principality. We wish you and the snake no harm.” Phoenix said.

“I was about to ask about that, the whole “we" thing. Where's your backup?” Crowley said. “Bring a legion with you for support?”

“No, just a friend.” Phoenix said as she turned to face him again. A sudden spike of energy flared up behind her. Crowley flinched as unfiltered glory burst into the area. No doubt about it.

This was an angel.

“Be not afraid.” A celestial voice rang out. The light faded to reveal a rather sheepish looking angel. They wore a beige coat over a white high collared shirt. They adjusted their forest green ascot and pale blue tinged glasses. Simple dress pants and shoes completed their outfit. Aziraphale would have likely compared their looks to Uriel with the exception of being what humans called “albino". Their tightly curled white hair was squared off at the front and shaved down to nothing on the sides. Pale pink eyes looked at the beings assembled atop the store. They spoke again in a much more normal voice. “Sorry about the glare. Had to make sure head office thinks I’m doing some smiting.”

“And who exactly are you?” Crowley said. Aziraphale was staring at the newcomer with wide eyes and Phoenix didn’t seem to be afraid in the slightest. The angel stepped forward and grinned.

“I am the Archangel Raziel.” they said. They extended a hand. “You must be the demon Crowley.”

“What's it to you?” Crowley said. He glared at the offered hand, glarefully. Raziel retracted it.

“You'll know soon.” they said. They shifted their attention to Aziraphale. “Angel of the Eastern Gate. It's good to see you here.”

“I- how- what are you doing here?” Aziraphale stammered out. Raziel glanced at Phoenix and the demon nodded. She stepped up beside the angel.

“We want your advice.”

Well. That was something. That was a something massive in both proportions and implications. With every second of stunned silence that passed it only grew in its scale as a something that was truly amazing and unbelievable. Nobody spoke for several moments.

“I was at the trial.” Phoenix said in an attempt to explain. “I saw what happened. With the holy water.”

“And the hellfire.” Raziel added. “I hear about everything eventually. Our files in the earth observation department didn’t have any clues as to how you did it.”

“We want to know. How you pulled it off.” Phoenix said.

“We want you to teach us.” Raziel said. “How to do it.”

“How to “go native”.”

“How to be… human.”

In the face of something so incredibly unexpected something had to be said. Something that put into words how profoundly important the occasion was. Something truly poetic that would be remembered later as the perfect words for the moment.

“Ngk.” said Crowley.


	2. A lesson in books and booze

The bookshop wasn’t built for guests. However when the occasion called for it a few extra chairs could miraculously be shoved into the back. Crowley sat across from their visitors and glared at them over the small table between them. Aziraphale walked in with a tray of tea and set it down gently. He'd insisted on making some likely for himself more than anyone else. Phoenix and Raziel thanked him as they picked up their mugs. Crowley took a cup out of spite. He wasn’t about to be the only one not appreciating the angel’s hospitality.

“So. Now that everyone’s settled…” Aziraphale said. “I believe there’s several questions that need to be addressed.”

“Indeed there are.” Raziel said. They cupped their drink in their hands and with a small ripple the liquid inside changed to a red hue. Raspberry flavor, in case one bothered to ask. “I suppose one of you two should go first.”

“We kinda drop in on you out of nowhere.” Phoenix added.

“If you call weeks of stalking “out of nowhere” then yeah, I guess you did.” Crowley said. He had a scowl that hadn’t left his face for the past hour and was starting to be at risk of becoming a permanent resident there.

“It was rather unsettling.” Aziraphale said. “Why wouldn’t you just confront us directly?”

“We were hoping to figure things out by watching you, I guess. Didn’t want to have to ask unless we had no other options.” Phoenix said.

“I’m sure you can understand how dangerous it was for us to come to you.” Raziel said.

“I suppose so.” Aziraphale said. Crowley also supposed the same but he wasn’t about to say it out loud.

“How did you know about the trials?” he asked instead. “I can get Phoenix but Heaven was very secretive about the whole thing.”

“Everything up there gets back to me sooner or later.” Raziel said. They had a sly smile on their face. “I am the angel of secrets after all.”

“Indeed you are. I’m still a little surprised something as… tarnishing as, uh, well, me got out.” Aziraphale said.

“Hell's been trying to keep quiet too.” Phoenix said. “Everyone kind of knows but we don’t talk about it. Some of the more chatty demons ‘helped’ feed the hellhounds a while back.”

“So things are back to normal down there?” Crowley said. “Aside from me being labelled as a traitor?”

“Just about, yeah.” Phoenix said. “Hastur has been sulking the whole time though.”

“Like I said, everything back to normal.” Crowley said.

“On the other side of things, Heaven is a mess.” Raziel said. “Rumours are spreading and fast.”

“What kind of rumors, exactly?” Aziraphale piped up.

“All kinds. One of them is that you battled a Duke of Hell and emerged unscathed.” Raziel said. They tried and failed to hide a smirk. “Another is that you were seduced.”

“I – wha – who – seduced!?” Aziraphale sputtered.

“We've got a similar one down below.” Phoenix said. “Demons saying that Crowley had an angel protecting him from the holy water. They can’t see any other reason for an angel to do that except...”

“Well. Could be worse.” Crowley said. He was suddenly very focused on his cup of tea. “It's not like they’re writing ballads.”

“…………”

“Oh _please_ tell me they’re not.”

“Wings, fourscore, surround him, ablaze with glorious light

Through words, ways, and wiles, he's brought an angel to the night

The touch of a demon, such a tempting thing,

to make the holy fear the church bells’ ring.

Together now they share his plight

Fallen in spirit, devine in flight.”

Phoenix took a drink while everyone else absorbed what they just heard. There were a few beats of silence.

“That cannot be real.” Crowley said. He shook his head like it would erase the poem from existence. “I refuse to believe it.”

“If it makes you feel any better only the more sophisticated demons know that one.” Phoenix said. “The rest are less… tactful.”

“Great. They'll be writing plays next.” Crowley grumbled.

“Don't fret over rumors and hearsay. It's not like you can go back to defend yourself.” Raziel said. “Besides, we know the truth and that’s what’s important.”

“Yeah, about that…” Crowley said. “Could you clarify what exactly you want from us?”

“Simply put, we wish to be like you.” Raziel said. “Be… more human. ‘Go native' as the demons put it.”

“And why would you want this?” Aziraphale said weakly. No amount of magically refilled tea was helping him calm down now.

“That's the easiest question to answer I’ve heard this whole time." Phoenix said. She reached over to Raziel and took their hand in her own. “We’re in love and we'd like to be able to live without fear, like you two.”

“…. You what now?” Crowley croaked.

“Both of you have nothing to be afraid of from your respective sides. They can’t touch you after what you pulled off and I’m willing to bet they won't try for a good long while.” Raziel said. “We want that same security.”

“Yeah, I got that, it was the ‘love' part.” Crowley said.

“I'd say we've been what humans would call a couple for about two decades now.” Phoenix said. She smiled at Raziel. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”

“That's wonderful.” Aziraphale said softly. Despite the, quite frankly, ridiculous setup he could sense an enormous amount of love radiating from his guests. At first he'd thought it was simply from Raziel being themself, creature of love and all, but now it made sense. There was a real connection between the two despite where they came from and what they were. “I can only imagine how difficult it's been for you.”

“I’m sure you can.” Raziel said with an odd twinkle in their eye. Some would call it a knowing look. However, being as they and Phoenix were the only ones “in the know" for the moment the look shall simply be called odd.

“So. What do you say?” Phoenix said. “Angel of the Eastern Gate, Aziraphale, and Serpent of Eden, Crowley, will you help us?”

The celestial beings in question gave each other a quick glance. Many things can be communicated with even a single moment of eye contact. In this case both sets of eyes were saying very different things. Crowley’s was somewhere along the lines of “This is none of our business and now that we know they don’t currently mean any harm we can just send them away and never mention any of this business ever again” while Aziraphale was firmly in the state of mind known as “It is in my nature to help love flourish in all its forms and this is one of them so I would rather like to assist these star crossed creatures”. They could recognize that the other was at least on a different page, if not a different book, and a talk was to be had about it later.

“I do believe we need to discuss the matter in private. Why don't the two of you come back tomorrow afternoon and we'll let you know.” Aziraphale suggested. Crowley shrugged and their guests took it as a good sign.

“Thank you. We hope you’ll decide to help, of course, but even having this talk with us means more than I can say.” Raziel said. They looked much less tense than before and Phoenix was lucky she hadn’t melted into her chair with relief.

“I swear, we will do whatever we can to repay you.” Phoenix said. She set down her empty cup and stood. “We'll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yes, well, uh, have a good night,” Aziraphale said. He stood as well and tentatively outstretched a hand. “And I'll make sure to have a nice afternoon tea ready for you.”

“Thank you again for your hospitality.” Raziel said. They shook his hand briefly with a grin. “You were always among the best of us.”

“They're right. You're by far one of most ‘angel-ey' angels I’ve met.” Phoenix chimed in. She gave Aziraphale a quick handshake and a bright smile. “Keep doing whatever it is you do, dear host, and I know that no evil will shall befall you.”

“Eloquent.” Crowley said. “I'm starting to realize why you got demoted. Higher ups don’t like feeling talked down to.”

“I'm quite used to it by now.” Phoenix said. She smirked with teeth perhaps a bit too sharp. “Maybe next time I’ll fill you in on the rest of that poem.”

“There's _more_?”

Once the goodbyes were over and guests sent off the teapot soon found itself being replaced by several bottles of a much more alcoholic nature. Aziraphale and Crowley returned to their seats with drinks in hand and much to talk about. There were a few moments of silence as the first cups were drained.

“You want to help them.” Crowley said. Aziraphale nodded. The demon grimaced and reached for a bottle.

“Well, I can’t do nothing now can I.” Aziraphale said.

“ ‘Course you can. Just tell them ‘Sorry, nothing to see here’ and send them off.” Crowley said. He forgoed refilling his cup to just opening the bottle and taking a swig. “Bam, problem solved and everyone goes on their merry way.”

“Maybe you could.” Aziraphale said. “I felt the love coming from them, Crowley. They deserve better than just a wave farewell. Who knows what could happen to them otherwise?”

“That's their problem, not ours.” Crowley said. The wine tasted more bitter than usual on his tongue. “My point is, we’ve got our own lives and I’m not going to derail all of it for some couple that wants a pep talk.”

“You know that’s not what they’re asking for.” Aziraphale said. He frowned into his glass. “I know it's a risk….”

“Exactly. They could be faking it for all we know. Phoenix? Master of poems. Probably made up that thing on the spot.”

“But - It's a risk I’m willing to take.” Aziraphale concluded. “We very well can’t say anything about the swap but I'm sure we can still help them somehow.”

“Aside from all your talk about the love and stuff, what motive do I have here?” Crowley said. They drank in silence for a minute more.

“Recruiting!” Aziraphale exclaimed after a particularly large sip of wine.

“Receu- what?” Crowley said. He squinted behind his sunglasses like it would help him understand. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“It's like you said before, on the bench.” Aziraphale continued. “We're on our own side.”

“That we are.” Crowley said. The slight uplift in his mood the reminder brought was dampened by the context. “What does that have to do with those two?”

“The real big one, remember? All of us versus all of them? If you’re right about it happening then there’s no time to waste.” Aziraphale said with a smug aura. “We need more people on our side. Demon, Angel, Human, it doesn’t matter who or what. Phoenix and Raziel are already amiable towards us. Shouldn’t you be tempting them to join the side of humanity?”

“…. If I didn’t know you so well I’d think you’d gone crazy.” Crowley said.

“Do you have any better ideas?” Aziraphale said. Crowley glared at him, or at least Aziraphale assumed he did based on his body language, and set down his wine bottle.

“Fine. We'll help the lost little angel and demon learn to ‘be human'. But – you have to promise me this. As soon as I think you’re, we're, in danger it stops. All of it. Nothing more. Nada. Zip.”

“Promise.” Aziraphale said with a bright smile. Crowley sighed and sunk lower into the couch he'd sprawled across. His angel was too nice to stay mad at sometimes especially the times when he was drunk.

“Care to remind me about the finer points of your octopus propaganda?” Crowley suggested. Aziraphale perked up and immediately began what was bound to be a long winded lecture about the creature in question. Crowley smiled and reached for another bottle. This was more like it. Back to normal.

After several hours of debate and a few of sleep they managed to distract themselves enough in the morning to not talk about the inevitable. Crowley glowered at a few customers more than usual that came by the bookshop and Aziraphale busied himself dusting some of the older volumes. They couldn’t escape their decision however so with slight trepidation Aziraphale picked up some pastries from his favorite café while Crowley stared down some tea leaves into tasting their best. Afternoon tea was ready to go nearly an hour before the afternoon arrived. Alas arrive it did despite some regretful hopes. Drunk choices rarely panned out as planned.

A little after twelve the bell over the shop door chimed. A young couple entered hand in hand and were soon discovered by the proprietor of the establishment.

“Good afternoon, Aziraphale. I’m glad to see we are welcomed in your home today.” Raziel said. They wore a simple black raincoat over their usual ensemble while Phoenix was folding up a bright blue umbrella.

“Don't worry about the water.” Phoenix said. She snapped her fingers and in an instant the two guests were dry. “It's quite dreary out there.”

“I see. Well, come on in. We've got the tea set out on the table. Make yourselves comfortable.” Aziraphale said. He switched his door sign to ‘Closed' and followed them to the circle of furniture that now functioned as a parlour.

Raziel smiled at the raspberry tea offered and took up a cup as they sat down. Phoenix perched herself next to them and instantly reached for a small danish. Aziraphale settled in across from them on a couch while Crowley joined him. Angels both fallen and not sat in a slightly awkward silence.

“So. Have you considered our request?” Raziel said.

“We have.” Crowley said curtly. Aziraphale gave him a stern look but was all smiles when Phoenix turned to him.

“And what have you decided?” she asked. Aziraphale took a sip of his tea and placed the cup down.

“We have decided to help you.” he said. “What exactly that entails we're not quite sure but we will do our best.”

“Oh, thank you so much.” Raziel said. Their expression was filled with so many emotions it was hard to tell which ones took priority. Phoenix meanwhile seemed to be on the verge of joyous tears.

“It is not from heaven nor hell but earth salvation comes.” she said quietly. “Well, a bookshop specifically but that doesn’t sound as poetic.”

“It sounds wonderful, my love.” Raziel assured her.

“There's more where it came from.” Phoenix said. She looked the happiest she'd been since she'd showed up on the Helter Skelter's roof. “I'm just so thankful. I could write you two a song.”

“Please, don’t.” Crowley said. “Now, like angel said, we're not exactly sure how to help you. I mean, if we knew how to ‘go native' on command we would have done it ages ago.”

“Precisely. However I’m sure we can all figure it out together.” Aziraphale said.

“That's more than enough for us.” Raziel said. Phoenix nodded.

“They’re right. We're ecstatic that you even thought about it." she added. “So. What do we do first?”


End file.
